Dave’s Dime
“Because Two Cents Just Isn’t Enough”

THE INTRO

((Before I start, please don’t be turned off by the amount of reading. Imagine how long it took me to type? It’s pretty easy reading, give it a chance when your bored. It’s meant to be fun.))

Ladies and gentleman (and all other creatures of the land and sea), it is that time once again. Football season. And, of course, the time for Dave’s Dime. Whether you are a dedicated reader from last year (a few), someone who deleted these religiously from their boxes last year (many), someone who is looking forward to David Consolazio’s take on sports (any?) or someone who’s email address I just found and decided to send to (most), here it is!

Each week, I will be picking the winners of the week’s games, and giving (what is intended to be clever, but whether on or off the mark, who knows) commentary as to why I believe what I do. You don’t have to be a football fan to enjoy this. Or you may be a football fan and NOT enjoy it. Just read the damn thing and find out for yourself!

For those of you first time readers, email me back if you want to be taken off the list. But you know, its much easier to just delete this weekly so at least I THINK you care. Hell, once a month or so, write a “Great job Dave” and then delete it. I’ll never know your lying, and it’ll make my day. But since MOST of you are friends, I will leave the option of never recieving this again up to you. This part of the column is, as you may have gathered, where I just talk about whatever I please before the actual action begins.

THE RECORD
This is the section where I list my total record as the season progresses.

With the spread: 0 – 0 – 0 (.000)
Without the spread: 0 – 0 – 0 (.000)
$$Money Picks$$: 0 – 0 – 0 (.000)

I will explain in detail what the spread means for those of you who do not know in “THE PICKS” section, so bear with me. $$Money Picks$$ are picks that I am 100% sure are safe bets. If you use my email as a gambling guide (God help you), these are the picks that I whole heartedly endorse. There can be zero or five of these a week, depending on the games. They will be pointed out with money signs ($$)

APOLOGIES, COMPLAINTS, AND GLOATING
This is the section where I go over the results of the previous week, apologizing when I underestimate, whining about why I shouldn’t have lost, and of course, giving myself credit where its due (this is an awfully rare occurance). Obviously the section empty this week, since no pro football was played.

DAMN, I’M GOOD
Here, on the rare occurance that a pick is dead on, or I get a really crazy upset pick right I will quote the previous week’s Dime, and point out how good I am. Classy? Absolutely not. But I’m doing the damn column for free, I’m gonna sell myself. Skip the stupid section if it bothers you, I’ll never know.

THE PICKS
The cream of the crop. I’ve lost the casual reader with all my blah blah by now, but you my friend are in for a treat. My weekly picks!

*Here is the layout of my picks, and an explination of how the spread works. Veteran readers can skip ahead to THE REAL THING!, but first timers or forgetful people should read on. Don’t worry if your confused at first, it will make sense as time goes on. Still, I’ll do my best to explain.

TEAM ONE (+6.5) @ TEAM TWO (-6.5)
The team on the left side is always on the road, and the team on the right side is always at home. I will use this area to provide commentary as to why I’m picking who I’m picking. The number in parenthesis is called “The Spread”. This is how Las Vegas makes money. If you could bet on any two teams on an even playing field, you could always take the favorite, and you would win quite often. With the spread, things are evened out a bit. If you take the weaker team (in this case team one), you are going to be given X amount of points (in this case 6.5). So, lets say the final score to the game is “Team One” 7, “Team Two” 10. Team Two won the game, but not in Vegas terms. Add the 6.5 Vegas gave to Team One, and the score was “Team One” 13.5, “Team Two” 10. So, if you put money on Team Two, even though they won, they didn’t win by enough to “cover the spread” (which means outscore Team One with the extra points), so you lost money. So when you take the underdog (the team with the extra points), you add those points to their final total. If you take the favorite, you have to subtract number X from your total (So in the 10 – 7 game, minus 6.5, Team Two loses 3.5 – 7). The reason numbers usually have .5’s on them is so there can not be a tie. If your still confused, don’t worry, it’ll clear up. If you got it, well done!
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: TEAM TWO (-6.5)
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: TEAM TWO (-6.5)

THE REAL THING!

* – Indicates Upset Pick
$ – Indicates Money Pick

Oakland (+7.5) @ New England (-7.5)
While I do feel that this game being predicted by the spread to be the most lopsided of the week, I guess thats what happens when you pit one of the league’s worst teams last year in the Raiders against the defending super bowl champions. But New England has taken huge hits in both on and off field personel. Will they overcome and be victorious this year? I’m sure they will. But the Raiders are much much improved on offense, and even with their defensive woes should definitely be able to keep it within a touchdown. As far as winning goes? Probably not, but I’m not picking against my team when I think they have a very legitimate shot.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *Oakland
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *Oakland

Chicago (+6.5) @ Washington (-6.5)
I should be careful which games I drop “who cares” on week one, but I certainly dont. Both teams boast impresive defenses, but leave much to be desired on the offensive side of the ball. Still, I have to assume that the more offensively talented Redskins will win. I’m iffy on giving the Bears 6.5, but I don’t see them scoring at all, so I guess I have to.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Washington
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Washington

Cincinnati (-3.0) @ Cleveland (+3.0)
I’m predicting Ex-Trojan Carson Palmer to have a field day in this one, and am prematurely going to go ahead and guarentee a Cincinatti victory. Guarenteeing a victory in a game that isn’t even all that mismatched is what they call in this line of work “Stupid as Hell”. But as the season progresses, you’ll see that that might as well be my middle name (er, middle names?)
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: $Cincinatti
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Cincinatti

Denver (-4.0) @ Miami (+4.0)
While as a loyal Raiders fan I am always first in line to curse the Broncos to the fiery depths of hell, I’m not going to disrespect them enough to pick the Dolphins. The only real reason to watch this game though is to see Auburn sensation Ronnie Brown in action; he’ll be their every down running back with Ricky Williams serving his pot-enduced 4 game suspension.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Denver
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Denver

Houston (+4.0) @ Buffalo (-4.0)
I personally don’t think either team is much better than the other, as both seem equally likely to have success or bust this year. So I’ll gladly take the four points and the team that comes with them here – I’d even consider giving up 4 points for the Texans here, to be honest. Vegas must know something I don’t.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *Houston
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *Houston

New Orleans (+6.5) @ Carolina (-6.5)
Its really hard to see “New Orleans” and try and act like football matters, because it really doesnt when compared to whats going on over there right now. From a football standpoint, I’m picking the superior team here in Carolina, but much more importantly than that is that we send our hearts out to the players, their families, and everyone else whos been affected by Hurricane Katrina.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Carolina
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Carolina

N.Y. Jets (+3.0) @ Kansas City (-3.0)
Hahaha, your going to GIVE ME 3 points to pick a team I love against the team I hate second most in the entire world? Thanks! KC has apparently improved on defense, but I really don’t care. J E T S Jets Jets Jets is all I really have to say here.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *NY Jets
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *NY Jets

Seattle (+3.0) @ Jacksonville (-3.0)
I love the Seattle Seahawks, I really do. But as long as they are coached by that 300 pound walrus Mike Holmgrem, I’m still going to assume they are the same bumbling team they were last year, and take the Jaguars. Hope they can prove me wrong.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Jacksonville
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Jacksonville

Tampa Bay (+6.0) @ Minnesota (-6.0)
Both of these teams have a soft spot in my heart. That being said, I think Minnesota is one of the teams to beat in the NFC. Tampa Bay is… just kind of there. Sorry Tampa, I’m predicting a Minnesota routing here.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Minnesota
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Minnesota

Tennessee (+7.0) @ Pittsburgh (-7.0)
Tennessee took Norm Chow from my Trojans only to get rid of most of their talent for nothing. Interesting. Pittsburgh minus Burress should be less effective, too, as there is really no question as to what Pittsburgh’s plan of attack is (run, run, run). Sure, I still think they’ll win, but not by 7.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *Tennessee
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Pittsburgh

Arizona (+1.5) @ N.Y. Giants (-1.5)
“Kurt Warner is the True Giant In His Cardinal’s Debut, Crushing His Former Team In New York”. Headlines like these ones write themselves.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *Arizona
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *Arizona

Dallas (+4.5) @ San Diego (-4.5)
I do not like you San Diego. I really don’t. Thats why it pains me to report that I am quite sure your going to beat the tar out of the Cowboys this weekend.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: San Diego
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: San Diego

Green Bay (+3.0) @ Detroit (-3.0)
Yeah, the veteran Packers are PROBABLY the safer pick, but Detroit’s team is so damn young and fun, I’m not picking against them. Besides, do any of you remember a guy named MIKE WILLIAMS?
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Detroit
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Detroit

St. Louis (-4.5) @ San Francisco (+4.5)
Only 4.5? I’m really surprised. Not quite sure what Vegas is expecting here, but I’m expecting the Rams to win by at least 3 touchdowns, and they make my second guarentee of the week.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: $St. Louis
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: St. Louis

Indianapolis (-3.0) @ Baltimore (+3.0)
Here we get an early season preview of the two teams to beat in the AFC – the offense-driven Indianapolis Colts VS. the defense-driven Baltimore Ravens. A little later down the line, I might be picking the Ravens, but the Ravens have made too many personel changes (even though they are good ones) to be expected to gel perfectly for week one: and Peyton Manning runs his offense like clockwork.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Indianapolis
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Indianapolis

Philadelphia (-2.0) @ Atlanta (+2.0)
I’m gonna go out on a bit of a limb here and go ahead and say that in Atlanta, Vick will lead his team to a win, and we will see all **** (namely Terrell Owens) hit the fan in Philidelphia very early on in the season. Don’t get me wrong, I still think the Eagles are a major contender, but I cant help but see the story unfold this way.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *Atlanta
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *Atlanta

Thats that! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and has enjoyed this week’s edition of Dave’s Dime!

MY TEAMS RECORDS
OAKLAND RAIDERS: 0 – 0 – 0
USC TROJANS: 1 – 0 – 0
LOS ANGELES KINGS: 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

Comments are closed