I remember when my father and I used to play sports against each other out in the backyard. He’d beat the crap out of me. A grown man against a seven year old, what would you expect? I always asked why he didn’t go easy on me and he would respond that when I could beat him for real with my actual skill, wouldn’t it be that much more rewarding?

Eventually I did get around to beating him. And he was right. It felt pretty damn good.

When I was around eight or nine my best friend Sam and I joined a roller hockey league. Ten teams. Top four teams made the playoffs. With my excellent-for-an-eight-year-old goaltending skills, and Sam’s outstanding scoring ability, we went undefeated. Cruised through the playoffs, took the league championship, went to the all-star game, and our team won that game, too.

At 11 years old, I was “lucky” enough to be eligible for two separate softball leagues at my after school daycare; the 9 – 11 league as well as the 11 – 13 league. Both teams went 0 -15. Nothing beats suiting up for 30 straight blowout losses at that age.

“Dave, why are you telling us your boring life story?” That is a great question, and I can assure you I do have a point.

If you haven’t read the story of the nine year old that was banned from pitching because he was too good, you can check it out here. Basically, this 9-year-old kid Jericho Scott is throwing 40 mph heat (accurately, mind you, he hasn’t hit a single batter) and is just straight up dominating this league. One team even went as far as to pack up their bags and leave, forfeiting the game, when they saw that this kid was pitching. That is an awesome message to send to kids; “When up against an obstacle that seems impossible to overcome, run away.”

If you feel like you’ve heard this story somewhere before, you definitely heard similar here. Remember the story of the young girl that was banned for being too good?

I remember playing AYSO soccer as a goalie and crying because there was this little kid that was so dominant over everyone else that he dribbled right through everyone and scored 14 goals on me in one game. I was relatively good, too. Nobody banned that kid.

My girlfriend coaches a basketball team of 9, 10, and 11 year olds. She was telling me about her team one day and I asked her how many of the 10 teams make it to the playoffs?

All 10.

Everyone makes the playoffs. Every kid is a winner. Every team gets trophies no matter how they do.

When I went 0 – 15 (twice), there were no trophies. There were no playoffs. We were just losers.

What is it about teaching these kids that they will lose sometimes that is so scary to parents today? I’m not saying that leagues with young children should be focused 100% on winning and losing. I am completely behind teaching fair play and good sportsmanship above all else. And yes, win or lose, the important thing is that you have fun. But you know what? Winning is more fun then losing. It always is and it always will be. You strive to win, and when you do it is great; but you also have to learn how to lose, how to shake it off and learn from defeat.

Every now and then you’ll face a Jericho Scott who is simply better then you are at this sport. You will meet people that are bigger and stronger then you are, faster then you are, more athletic then you are. The answer isn’t to forfeit the game. The answer isn’t to ban the kid for being so good. The answer is to give it your best and lose with a little dignity.

And how is it fair to the kid you are banning? You are essentially punishing a kid for being exceptional at something. Perhaps we should find all of our talented youth and stop them from doing what they are doing. Incredible pianist? Take the piano away. Don’t want anyone rising above ordinary!

It is totally okay to teach kids that winning and losing isn’t everything. It isn’t at all okay to teach them that it isn’t SOMETHING, because it most certainly is.

(http://vegasdavesdime.podbean.com/2008/08/26/blog-why-arent-kids-allowed-to-win-and-lose-anymore)

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