Dave’s Dime
“Because Two Cents Just Isn’t Enough”

THE INTRO

((I spend a lot of time typing this up every week, mainly for the enjoyment of my readers. If you are recieving this email, it is because I feel like you will have a good time reading it. This is not meant to be spam mail. You will only recieve 2 emails from me a week, a version of the Dime in color, and one in black and white. Delete the one you don’t prefer. If you want to be taken off the list, let me know… but its much better for my pride if you just delete it every week and let me think that you kinda care. Thanks!))

It’s baaaaaaaaack. Football season! Oh… and Dave’s Dime, too. Whether you are a dedicated reader from last year (a few), someone who deleted these regularly from their boxes last year (many), a first time reader (or skimmer), or someone who is looking forward to David Consolazio’s take on sports (huh?), the Dime is back in your lives!

Each week, I will be picking the winners of the week’s games, and giving sometimes-witty-often-stupid commentary as to why I believe what I do. You don’t have to be a football fan to enjoy this. Or you may be a football fan and NOT enjoy it. Just read the damn thing and find out for yourself!

The first week of the year is virtually always a crap shoot. I don’t have any stats to crunch (preseason means nothing, in my opinion), so I’m most inclined to just pick favorites. Therein lies the problem that the favorites haven’t really found their “groove” yet, so they are likely to be upset. See the prediciment I find myself in?

So sit back, relax, and get ready to ridicule, because the Dime is officially back underway.

THE RECORD

This is the section where I list my total record as the season progresses.

With the spread: 0 – 0 – 0 (.000)
Without the spread: 0 – 0 – 0 (.000)
$$Money Picks$$: 0 – 0 – 0 (.000)
^^Zen Picks^^: 0 – 0 – 0 (.000)

“With the Spread” – I will explain in detail what the spread means for those of you who do not know in THE PICKS section, so bear with me.
“Without the Spread” – Who I picked to win the game, outright.
$$Money Picks$$ – Picks that I am 100% sure are safe bets. If you use my email as a gambling guide (God help you), these are the picks that I whole-heartedly endorse. There can be zero, five, or any other number of these a week, depending on the games. They will be pointed out with money signs ($).
^^Zen Picks^^ – Last year, I grabbed a book called “The Zen of Gambling”, which gives you a bunch of philosophical views on picking games that prove more often then not to actually work. A pick that I use a carrot symbol on (^) is one that I would have picked the other way if I weren’t “enlightened” by the Zen book.

LAST WEEK’S RECAP OF DAVE’S BRILLIANCE AND FOOLISHNESS
(Usually Foolishness)

This is the section where I go over the results of the previous week, gloating about how smart I am when I get it right, or whining about how stupid the teams are when I get it wrong. Obviously the section empty this week, since no pro football was played.

DAMN, I’M GOOD

Here, on the rare occurance that a pick is dead on, or I get a really crazy upset pick right, I will quote the previous week’s Dime, and point out how good I am. Classy? Absolutely not. But I’m doing the damn column for free, and classy doesn’t have to be on the resume.

THE PICKS

The cream of the crop. What you have all been waiting for. My illustrious weekly picks!

*Here is the layout of my picks, and an explanation of how the spread works. Veteran readers can skip ahead to THE REAL THING!, but first timers or forgetful people should read on. Don’t worry if you’re confused at first, it will make sense as time goes on. Still, I’ll do my best to explain.*

TEAM ONE (+6.5) @ TEAM TWO (-6.5)
The team on the left side is always on the road, and the team on the right side is always at home. I will use this area to provide commentary as to why I’m picking who I’m picking. The number in parenthesis is called “The Spread”. This is how Las Vegas makes money. If you could bet on any two teams on an even playing field, you could always take the favorite, and you would win quite often. With the spread, things are evened out a bit. If you take the weaker team (in this case team one), you are going to be given X amount of points (in this case 6.5). So, lets say the final score to the game is “Team One” 7, “Team Two” 10. Team Two won the game, but not in Vegas terms. Add the 6.5 Vegas gave to Team One, and the score was “Team One” 13.5, “Team Two” 10. So, if you put money on Team Two, even though they won, they didn’t win by enough to “cover the spread” (which means outscore Team One with the extra points), so you lost money. So when you take the underdog (the team with the extra points), you add those points to their final total. If you take the favorite, you have to subtract number X from your total (So in the 10 – 7 game, minus 6.5, Team Two loses 3.5 – 7). The reason numbers usually have .5’s on them is so there can not be a tie. If you’re still confused, don’t worry, it’ll clear up. If you got it, well done!
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: TEAM TWO (-6.5)
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: TEAM TWO (-6.5)

THE REAL THING!

* – Indicates Upset Pick
$ – Indicates Money Pick
^ – Indicates Zen Pick

THURSDAY

Miami 0 – 0 (+1.5) @ Pittsburgh 0 – 0 (-1.5)
I look at this game, and what do I see? On one side, the defending Super Bowl Champions will not have their starting QB (Roethlisburger out, the pathetic Batch in), their best wide reciever (Hines Ward), or their emotional leader from last year (Jarome Bettis – retired). Then I look at the Dolphins with newly acquired Culpepper, a well rounded team, picked to do great things this year. They look like an obvious winner to me. Which leads me to my favorite ZEN strategy – if Vegas’s spread COMPLETELY disagrees with how you feel, then you must be wrong, because Vegas knows football better than you. Vegas still says Pittsburgh is the favorite? They must know something I don’t. I’m in.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: ^Pittsburgh
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: ^Pittsburgh

SUNDAY

Atlanta 0 – 0 (+5.0) @ Carolina 0 – 0 (-5.0)
Carolina is one of the teams to beat this year… adding Keyshawn Johnson as a 2nd reciever makes this team even more of a threat offensively, and on defense, they are always liable to completely shut down their opposition. Don’t see the Falcons going INTO Carolina and doing much damage in this one.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Carolina
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Carolina

Baltimore 0 – 0 (+3.0) @ Tampa Bay 0 – 0 (-3.0)
Tricky game, as I really don’t know what to expect from either one of these teams. Lets go ahead and assume that QB McNair and WR Mason rekindle the magic they had in Tennessee, and take Baltimore.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *Baltimore
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *Baltimore

Buffalo 0 – 0 (+9.0) @ New England 0 – 0 (-9.0)
Nine points! Looks like a lot, right? Well the fact is, Buffalo sucks, and New England is still New England. I’ll take them, even if I DO need to win by 10.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: New England
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: New England

Cincinnati 0 – 0 (+2.0) @ Kansas City 0 – 0 (-2.0)
This should be a fun game to watch, as two potential AFC powerhouses match up here. Not sure exactly how healthy Carson Palmer is, but regardless, I think Cinci is the better all around team, and if Vegas will give me two points while I’m at it, I’ll take them.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *Cincinnati
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *Cincinnati

Denver 0 – 0 (-3.5) @ St. Louis 0 – 0 (+3.5)
The Denver Broncos don’t take enough pride in simply being my arch-nemises. Instead, they also find it necessary to lose whenever I pick them, and win whenever I pick against them. So you know what, Denver? You can start the season off 0 – 1.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Denver
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Denver

New Orleans 0 – 0 (+3.0) @ Cleveland 0 – 0 (-3.0)
Speaking of teams that always mess with me, New Orleans is another one. But unlike the Broncos, I don’t hate their guts. With the addition of Reggie Bush (who, settle down Trojan fans, will have to share carries with Deuce McCallaster) and Drew Brees, I think this year’s Saints team is going to have an offense to be reckoned with. And it starts this week against the Browns.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *New Orleans
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: *New Orleans

N.Y. Jets 0 – 0 (+2.5) @ Tennessee 0 – 0 (-2.5)
I love the Jets, and Tennessee is geared up to suck again this year, but the Jets just seem to make sucking look so natural when they get into the groove of it. Not sure if they will this week, but I’ll count on Billy Volek to have a big day and give the Tennessee fans a strong season opener.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Tennessee
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Tennessee

Philadelphia 0 – 0 (-5.0) @ Houston 0 – 0 (+5.0)
I am still laughing at how ironic it is that the Texans passed on Reggie Bush, only to see their #1 running back, Dominick Davis, go down with a season ending injury before the season even began. Think they are feeling stupid now? Well whether they are feeling stupid, smart, good, or bad, they aren’t beating Philly this weekend.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Philadelphia
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Philadelphia

Seattle 0 – 0 (-6.0) @ Detroit 0 – 0 (+6.0)
No matter which way you cut it, at the end of the year, Seattle is going to be among the elite in the league, and Detroit is going to be middle-of-the-pack. That applies in week one, too, where I’ll happily take the Seahawks by a touchdown or more.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: $Seattle
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Seattle

Chicago 0 – 0 (-3.5) @ Green Bay 0 – 0 (+3.5)
A tremendous rivalry for many, many years… when both teams were actually good. Nowadays, only fans of the teams are really going to care. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. I’ll take Chicago I suppose, and don’t bother to ask me why, because I don’t know.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Chicago
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Chicago

Dallas 0 – 0 (+2.0) @ Jacksonville 0 – 0 (-2.0)
Typical Jacksonville game… the other team getting all the hype. Everyones talking about TO, Parcels, Bledsoe, blah, blah, blah. When its all said and done, it’ll be Jacksonville ahead on the scoreboard in this one.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: Jacksonville
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Jacksonville

San Francisco 0 – 0 (+7.5) @ Arizona 0 – 0 (-7.5)
Yuck… call me when Leinart is starting. Until then, this game really isn’t all that exciting. Pure talent wise, I’ll give the game to Arizona – but despite how bad San Fran is, I still expect them to make somewhat of a game out of it.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: San Fransisco
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Arizona

Indianapolis 0 – 0 (-3.5) @ N.Y. Giants 0 – 0 (+3.5)
The Battle of the Mannings! Everyone sure is selling this one high. Newsflash, everyone. Peyton is the better Manning. And he’s got the better team, too. Indy takes care of the Giants no problem in this one.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: $Indianapolis
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Indianapolis

MONDAY

Minnesota 0 – 0 (+4.5) @ Washington 0 – 0 (-4.5)
Don’t know what to expect from either of these teams, so I can’t really give you a whole lot of reasoning behind this pick. I’ve just got a score in my head; Washington 17, Minnesota 14. So, there you go… professional? Hardly.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: *Minnesota
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: Washington

San Diego 0 – 0 (-3.0) @ Oakland 0 – 0 (+3.0)
Every year I do this. I get all excited and figure all these reasons in my head why this year will be different, and how the Raiders are going to be awesome. San Diego QB Phillip Rivers will choke, our offense will click, blah blah blah. I’ll still take San Diego – the Raiders have NEVER had an answer for LaDanian Tomlinson, and I can’t go picking them until they find one.
PICK WITH THE SPREAD: San Diego
PICK WITHOUT THE SPREAD: San Diego

Questions? Comments? Love the Dime? Hate it? Should I cut it down to a nickel? EMAIL ME FEEDBACK!

MY TEAM’S RECORDS
OAKLAND RAIDERS: 0 – 0 – 0
USC TROJANS: 1 – 0 – 0
LOS ANGELES KINGS: 0 – 0 – 0 – 0

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